the bi girl's project

this project was first initiated by mie (dyasha) wong - also known as myself, in the introduction to photography course at mahidol university international college (muic) in thailand. it is a mental-health-related subject under the topic in french, "rembobiner" (rewind). before i decided to work on this project, i was afraid to speak up or talk about this topic explicitly because i was frightened of being judged by people i do not even know. after i put effort into working on this final project for the course, i figured out that this topic is taboo in my home country (thailand). many people still have wrong perceptions about bipolar disorder, depression and other mental illnesses. the key message is that i want people to value others as human beings instead of their differences, different abilities or illnesses. as i have been through both bipolar disorder and severe depression, i was lost and later found a way to express my pain through photography. thanks to my photography ajarn (which means "professor" in thai), cory, who always helps me and gives me valuable-constructive guidance to work on this project wholeheartedly. that is the reason why i extended to work on this year-long project (probably years). i also got inspiration from jim goldberg for descriptive writing parts, making it digitally. the photographs under this project are live on mie's website on 4 december 2022 on her space (website) to raise awareness and make changes.

i am more than ready to be the voice of people with bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses. i want you (both people with mental illnesses and others who feel depressed, hopeless or desperate) to hear this: you are not alone, i understand your situation, and i will not judge you. you guys are strong enough to defeat your fights, i am waiting for you to get the victory you all deserve. "the bi girl's project" refers to me as someone who has lived (and struggled) with bipolar disorder type ii and severe depression for more than five years, since sixteen.

if you want to be a part of this project in bangkok, contact me at thebigirlproject@gmail.com or follow her instagram: @la_dyaz. do not worry about your identity, or a symbol (like tattoos or scars) that reveals who you are is forbidden under my morals, i will always find a way to cover up people who participate in the project, so some individuals with bad intentions will not try to witch-hunt you. this depends on your will, it is also okay if you do not mind about this matter.

ps. this page is about things i am working on, especially photography and probably journalling. english is my second language, but i use it as a tool to communicate with people from all over the world since i want it to go worldwide to raise awareness. i hope you would be able to understand what i am trying to say :) for the photos, i will include both thai and english versions in order to communicate effectively with the audience/other readers.

DOPPELGÄNGER

my evil twin always tries to kill me, i also try to kill them. we both either win or lose all the time. the mirror symbolises a different version of me, behind or in front of the mirror.

mie dyasha - underwate photo depicts th difference between two worlds

CHAOTIC

the difference between the two worlds. a peacefully suffocating, and the other is a chaotic living grayscale world. which one will you choose to live in?

FACES, FACES

are you really happy? is it just a face that you are masking, so people will not know what you actually feel? i sometimes have to choose a face before leaving home to hide what i truly feel so no one knows...

ALARM

social media causes more anxiety in someone. you will never know how much it costs for someone to keep up with social media. turn off your notifications if it affects your mental health - your mentality comes first, catch up later. it is going to be all right.

THOUGHTS

when you see someone drowning, are you a bystander or a safeguard?

drowning in the thoughts is as suffering as drowning in water.

YOU'LL BE OK

the mental breakdown is uncontrollable. have you ever cried and tried to pull yourself together simultaneously, but nothing seems to work?

IN MY WORLD

even though we look okay, we can laugh, we can smile, and we can do whatever we have to do, it does not mean that we are fine.

THE FAREWELL

if i shall die, do not be sad. at my funeral, put on the edm/indie pop/scandi pop playlists, dress up in colourful clothes and act happy. do not say "i love you" - i cannot hear it. do not apologise because i can no longer forgive you. be nice when i am alive. judge less, care more.

NICOTINE

a sincere, worried and loving message to my dad.

(ANTI)DEPRESSANTS

a part of who i am, things i have been through and bad shit i have experienced as a bipolar girl. it defines me and runs through my veins to heal my heart and numb uncountable pain.

- mie dyasha wong. -